I’m Not tryin’ to undercut ya none

I’m Not Trying To Undercut you,ZenBrush_20180509011403

he says…

I’m not trying to make you feel bad.

when I say hey, this is exciting, the new book is about to be published.

when i say, could you help me to proof this, ya know, i dedicated this, partially (and only partially, i know, to you…)

[right, so fuck me for not giving you all the credit of spending the last five years of my life on this thing, this figurative child, this emblazonment of self]

And he says,

quit stressing me out.

quit being so manic.

 quit being so you all the time.

how the hell else am I supposed to be?

who am I supposed to be?

[because none of this pleases you]

{and what other am I supposed to be]

and I really don’t care that you don’t care.

and i dedicate this to you regardless,

because it is more important to me to be impeccable, to be good, to be something that pleases me, rather than someone who pleases you.

So Let Me have this Joy

let me have this moment,

let me have this almost glory of achieving  this dream that you could not get up off your ass enough to see …

let me work if it suits me

let me suffer if it suits me

let me be.

                          [i am sorry you cannot find your dreams, i am sorry if my industry offends you as the mirror that it is, if it makes you look at yourself and realise, that able bodied as you may be, you will never match the brilliance of my perfect form]

[broken and bent and hurting all the time, and yet,]

because I slog on.

And I will slog on forever.

{and in the end you and your kind will still laugh at me, because I had heart enough to dedicate the one thing I was proud of, to you}

and I will still go on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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